A Letter to Myself as a New Mother

If you had a chance to go back in time and talk to yourself as a new mother on day one, what would you say?

It was midnight, I was rocking my baby girl to sleep (she is a night owl like me) when suddenly this thought came to my mind. My sweetheart was just few days shy of her first birthday then. I was gently caressing her soft hair and watching her, a thousand emotions flooded me. Time flies, it sure does…

So what would I say to the new mom Madhubani?

I would probably say this…

‘Darling, today has been scary and tomorrow might feel scarier. Laying in your hospital bed with an excruciating wound while your heart is full of happiness and excitement, sometimes your heart feels empty and your head feels heavy, as this new role set it aflame. Although terrifying, this situation won't last forever. You will walk out of this hospital and into a life that is beyond anything you might have pictured for yourself. The highs and lows of the upcoming days will teach you a lot; you will learn so many new things, you will have to unlearn so many old things, but if I could throw in my 2 cents here, it would be this…

Slow down, mommy!!! Slow down. Try to be where you are. Avoid dwelling on the future plans and expectations that can so frequently go awry in parenthood. Live each day as it comes and be open to whatever this experience brings you. Engage in fun stuff when you have the energy, give kisses and cuddle when you feel the love but zone out and rest when you need that. It is important and is totally fine. Ask for help if you need. Don’t make things harder for yourself by thinking that you are a failure or not good enough if you reach out or seek help. Trust what you need. Trust that you’re not a failure. Trust that it’s ok not to fit into the mold that you believe everyone else does. Know that your baby was divinely chosen to enter this earth with you and through you. You …just as YOU are, both you and your journey is meant for her. Perfection isn’t the gift. You are the gift. Maybe the days are long and the nights are longer, but the years are short. It gets better, hang in there mom. Enjoy the time with your little bundle of joy, they grow up so fast. 

Motherhood is hard, I know, especially when you are a new mother. It won’t be always all rainbows and smiles. There will be a new challenges every step of the way. But don’t be scared because mamma! You got this. You’ve got it under control every time, even when you feel like you don’t. This might feel like the scariest time of your life and it probably is and even though it seems like you will never ever feel “normal” again, trust me, you will. Stop trying to find the old you and fully embrace the chaos and magic of the new you that has also just been born.

Take a deep breath, it is okay to not know and understand it all. Go easy on yourself. Be kind to yourself. You are amazing. You are doing a great job. You are not a failure for asking for help, you are not a failure for spending some “me-time”, you are not a failure if you do the dishes and laundry later and definitely not a failure if you are not being able to exclusively breast-feed. Know that you are doing your very best and she already loves you so much. Everything gets better and trust me, you wont regret a thing.

Is there anything that you’d like to whisper into your ear if you could travel back in time? Share below and you never know, maybe some other mamas can find some comfort in your words tonight …